My first “big girl” experience with obedience was during the pandemic at the end of 2020 going into early 2021. I had just lost my dad. And as most close encounters with death will do, it led me to deep reflection about my life and how I was spending the short time I’ve been given on this Earth.

During that time, I felt like I was experiencing growth in every area of my life, except in my career.

The growth I was experiencing in other areas simply were not translating there. Frustrated, I began praying for God to reveal my next steps. Even more frustrating, though, was the instruction to “work what I know,” and the silence concerning if/when I would leave the law firm I worked for at the time.  

I had no idea then that it would be another two years before I would hear from the Lord, “you have waited well my daughter, go forward,” along with plans for what to do next.

That two-year waiting period was truly a test in obedience.

Every day I wanted to move out of God’s timing.

But, in that time, I depended on the Lord in a way I never had before. I was completely burnt out, exhausted, and had nothing left to give, but I watched God carry me day by day.

As difficult and frustrating as that time was, looking back, it didn’t cost me as much I thought. 

Please hear my heart when I say this. While yes, I was emotionally drained, depleted, depressed, anxious and so many other things towards the end of that season, I also still had financial security to ease the burden of obedience.

And when God called me to walk away, I walked away from that financial security, but I walked into a newfound sense of identity, freedom, and purpose that brought a joy and peace I still can’t fully explain.

Yes, I was walking in obedience, but it was into a result that I had prayed for!

But what happens when the directions we must obey don’t result in celebrations or immediate feelings of happiness?

The stories of obedience that lead to immediate satisfaction are beautiful and gratifying to experience, but what happens when you are called to do things that hurt?

Do you still say “yes” when obedience leads to unimaginable heartbreak and confusion?

What do you do when obedience causes your heart and mind to be at odds with the Spirit living inside you? And when it feels like you’re being crushed under the weight of all God is requiring of you?

This past year, obedience has required more of me.

It has challenged me to sacrifice on a higher level.

I’m actively learning what it means to obey even, and especially, when it costs me.

When I was prompted to write this blog post, the first thing that came to mind was olive oil.

A quick google search will show you that the Lord cares about oil.

Like, A LOT.

Oil is mentioned in the Bible over 200 times. You see it purposed for so many things and used in so many ways, but all of them for good.

Most significantly, it represents the presence and the Spirit of our living God.

For that oil to flow, those cute little olives must be pitted, pressed, and crushed until they are unrecognizable.

I’ve accepted that obedience in this season means surrendering to the crushing.

This year obedience called me to walk away from the only friendship that I ever fully trusted after months of saying “no” to God.

I never could’ve imagined that much of the healing I had been praying for in my life would be tied to my “yes.”

Processing the grief tied with this loss has, in turn, been the catalyst to a much-needed unraveling of myself, layer by layer.

I have had to surrender the “savior” complex that validated me and gave me purpose, to begin to set boundaries despite the self-worth and sense of belonging my lack of boundaries secured for me, and so much more.

And with every “yes,” obedience grows easier.

So, let’s say “yes” together and give God all the little olives that only mold and lose their flavor over time any way.

Let’s have hearts that would rather have the Oil.

COMMENT “Oil” below if you are ready to surrender to the crushing that obedience often brings.

Freely,

Latiera