PSA to Fear
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
- Tim. 1:17 NKJV
At 18 years old I arrived in Chicago as a college freshman with fiery red hair and big, bright dreams to match.
While I was born in Chicago, I was raised in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
As a kid, my Mamma, sisters and me would sometimes make our way back to Chicago to visit my auntie (my Mamma’s sister) and my cousins (my auntie’s 7 kids).
When I met my Dad, who also lived in Chicago, at 12 years old I started spending even more time here visiting him. Despite these trips, I had never really ventured far past my auntie’s or my Dad’s houses growing up.
So, after my family dropped me off at my dorm, I was nervous and alone in a somewhat familiar city, but excited about the possibilities.
College in this city meant exploring neighborhoods I never had before, trying foods I had never heard of before, meeting people from parts of the world I had only seen on maps, and downtown?!! (Chicago’s downtown low key still blows my mind today!)
The “big-ness” of this city made me feel unstoppable! Everybody seemed so important. Like they always had somewhere important to be.
The larger-than-life buildings, picturesque skyline, lakefront that seemed to have no end, all ignited a hunger and passion in me I don’t think I had ever experienced before.
All of a sudden, no dream seemed out of reach. If I had any hesitation before about becoming the first lawyer in my family, this city quickly washed those worries away.
August 13th officially marked seven months since leaving my big law job. These past 7 months have been almost indescribable. I had so many expectations around what this season would look and feel like, and I can confidently say that it has far exceeded what I ever could’ve expected.
The one thing that I did not anticipate, though were the emotions.
All the quiet time I have now has allowed deep reflection.
I have never felt so free, empowered, joyful and liberated as I do in this season.
But deep reflection has highlighted all the ways I am gripped by fear at the same time.
Some days in the stillness, fear about “what’s next” sends me on WILD Google searches about all the ways to use my law degree, how to switch careers and become a doctor, real estate broker, YouTuber, astronaut, nuclear physicist, chilllleeee you name it!!
In this season, I’ve been stopped in my worried tracks with thoughts of that bright, red haired girl who came so boldly to a new city with nothing but hopes and dreams.
I think back to that girl and am reminded of how despite having no real plan, no connections, no money, God carried me.
I remember that even in the face of all that I thought I lacked, I was not fearful.
Somewhere along my journey, though I allowed this world and its expectations to shrink me.
To make me forget all that God has already done.
It is only when I remember how God brought me to this city and, against all odds, changed the trajectory of my life FOREVER that I am able to forget about “what’s next” and focus on what God is doing right now!
In this season, God has reminded me that I am that bright, red haired girl. I’m older, wiser, and free-er to dream and hope even bigger than I ever have before.
So, consider this my PSA to fear.
Today, I choose to dream bigger. To trust harder. To believe deeper and to no longer allow fear to steal the beauty and glory that lives in my “right now.”
What beauty are you missing in your “right now” because of fear? What areas of your life has fear stolen? You are a walking miracle. Powerful beyond comprehension. Act like it!
Today, I am so grateful for a renewed mind and fresh perspective. What are you grateful for today?
Freely,
Latiera
